so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
