This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
