Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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