I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
