just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
