would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize