Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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