Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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