my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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