he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
