sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
