if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
