I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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