I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
