you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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