fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
