i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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