Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
