Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
