I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
two words...techno handjob
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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