mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
