Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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