so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
