you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
