glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
