I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
