But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
