tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
