But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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