He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
