i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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