Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
