ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
