She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
