I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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