So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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