We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
