I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
