belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
