We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Boobs speak an international language.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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