# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
