she's into porn, im staying here tonight
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
