maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Operation Purity has been aborted
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
