Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
