im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
