Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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