I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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