Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
