So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
