she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
