so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
